Totally Tubular Bakes is a neighborhood bakery on North Shore focused on French laminated pastries and custom occasion cakes, operating as a production kitchen and small retail counter rather than a sit-down café. The business distinguishes itself through made-from-scratch croissants and a willingness to build custom designs for weddings and events, carving out distinct space from Chattanooga's growing bakery scene.
The bakery opens for pastry retail in the morning and accepts cake orders weeks in advance through direct contact. Croissants are laminated in-house, a labor-intensive process that requires resting dough overnight and folding in butter multiple times. Cakes range from sheet-pan designs for small gatherings to multi-tier structures for formal events. The operation is not a grab-and-go coffee shop; customers planning a cake should call or visit early in the week to discuss design, flavor, and timeline.
Croissants cost $4.50 for a butter version and $5.50 for chocolate-filled varieties, offered daily while supplies last. Almond croissants and pain au chocolat rotate seasonally. A dozen mixed pastries run $48 to $54 depending on selection.
Custom cakes start at $40 for a simple two-layer sheet cake serving 12 to 16 people and rise steeply with size and decoration. A three-tier wedding cake for 60 to 75 guests typically runs $180 to $280, with final cost depending on flavors, frosting type, and design complexity. Most decorative work is piped by hand rather than printed or purchased, pushing costs higher than commercial bakeries but delivering visible craft. Pricing can shift seasonally and with ingredient costs; confirming current rates directly is essential before committing to an order.
Flavor options include classic vanilla and chocolate, lemon, salted caramel, and rotating specials. Fillings range from buttercream to Swiss meringue to fresh fruit curds. Dietary requests (dairy-free, gluten-free) are possible but require advance notice and may incur a surcharge.
The North Shore location competes directly with Oven and Tap, a wood-fired bakery also known for laminated doughs but operating as a café with seating and espresso. Oven and Tap's croissants are similarly priced and available daily, but the venue prioritizes walk-in traffic and social time. Choose Oven and Tap if you want to eat immediately with coffee and browse a full coffee menu; choose Totally Tubular Bakes if you need custom cakes or prefer ordering ahead for reliability.
Sugar Mama's Bakery on Frazier Avenue offers decorative cakes and pastries at slightly lower custom-cake minimums but with less emphasis on hand lamination. Melting Pot Cakes in East Brainerd runs a dedicated wedding and event operation with more elaborate design portfolios but at higher price points. Totally Tubular Bakes sits between these poles: more craft-focused than supermarket bakeries but less formal and expensive than full-service wedding cake specialists.
For daily laminated pastries alone, Oven and Tap has the edge in convenience because of café seating and extended hours. For custom cakes with quick turnaround and a personal relationship with the baker, Totally Tubular Bakes is the closer fit.
This bakery works well for people planning events weeks or months ahead and willing to collaborate on design. It also serves regular customers who will call a day or two early to reserve croissants for weekend breakfast. It does not suit anyone wanting immediate gratification or a traditional café experience; there is no coffee service and no seating. Walk-ins may find croissants available but should not count on a full selection.
Call or visit the retail counter in the morning to ask about availability. If interested in a custom cake, the conversation will turn to date needed, head count, flavor preferences, and design ideas. The baker will likely ask to see photos of reference designs or describe your vision. Expect to leave a deposit, typically 25 to 50 percent of the estimated cost, with balance due before pickup. Pickup is usually scheduled for the day of the event in early morning to ensure freshness.
For pastry-only visits, arrive between 7 and 10 a.m. to find the widest selection. Croissants are often gone by midmorning, especially on weekends.
Hours are 7 a.m. to noon Tuesday through Saturday, closed Sunday and Monday. Verification is recommended since bakery hours sometimes shift seasonally. The location on North Shore has street parking and a small lot; it sits within walking distance of the Greenway if you are nearby. The address and exact hours are best confirmed by calling ahead or checking the business directly.
Totally Tubular Bakes fills a specific niche in Chattanooga's baker landscape: it values technique in lamination and is willing to invest time in custom work, making it the logical choice for event planning that demands craft over convenience.
